I love the feeling you get when you’re pushing yourself ‘till it almost feels like you’re going to die. I love that borderline between consciousness and unconsciousness because it makes you feel so alive. I love the feeling of my head thudding, loss of equilibrium in my ear till it feels dizzy you almost want to throw up. Never feels as alive as this.
I love it how that blood circulation clears up the clogs of the day, by readjusting at your threshold until your remorse level goes down, conscientiousness and agreeableness flush away, and you suddenly care less about petty things that keep crawling like spiders onto that magnifying glass in your face.
I know my conditioned responses to the tone before the run are tightened muscles and slight increase in heart rate, but I know it is one of the things that will guarantee me a new start at the end of the day.
So dear sarcoplasmic reticulum, trigger that motor neuron, so I’d get used to those signals, and repeat that cycle until time passes by so that before I know it, the letters on my wall will turn into a new page. Let me focus on the process of the release of inflammatory molecules and immune system cells that activate satellite cells, so that I’d have walk through this season running that treadmill, like running the race of my life. I want to have had played the active role in it, holding my life, focused on me, and not getting into that continuous mental prison of knocking on that door having it closed in front of me for the millionth time.
So hey, you got this. Keep running. Don’t stop. Keep hitting your core, ‘till your stomach hurts, keep jumping ‘till your fists loosen, and keep going. Look at that ever moving belt at your feet, forget the countdown on the screen, just keep going. You can’t be that strong person without earning it.