Bitter and Sweet Christmas

 

It’s a bittersweet feeling, a sad taste in the air as I play these Christmas songs into the night.  With these speakers at this hour, and all I see in my mind are children dancing away into the night under the starry sky in a faraway place on that valley where God comes down.

So the song sings to be joyful, to be happy because it’s a good season. Yet all I feel is the weight of my decision not to go home this Christmas. Home, where kids from the whole community comes, to get presents and live in the atmosphere that is so full and happy.  To be in that presence where you know for sure you are loved and cared for.  To be in that environment full of life.

There really is something about Garden Estate.  The fact that you can create an entire world in that area.  The fact that love reigns down, and lights are up.  The kids in their best dresses and behaviours partaking to the moments. Yep, it does hurt no matter how much I’d like to deny that.

Christmas is what you make it to be, but it’s also who you make it to be with.  It’s how full you decide to live each second of the moments.  It’s not caring about the next day, or the weight of the world.  It’s forgetting responsibilities for a few hours, letting go of expectations and obligations.  It’s being who you want to be, to be the person you can look into the mirror and genuinely love.

So here’s the thing.  Instead of pouting like this, I should remember that I am my daddy’s daughter and he always says to create your world.  He never goes half way, it’s always go big or go home kind of vibe with him.  So yes I’m in a faraway place.  Yes, I’m alone tonight with Christmas songs vibrating out of these speakers.  No I will not continue this bittersweet journey.  I choose right now to remove that sad taste from my mouth. With decorations, and remembrance of the birth of the Saviour of the world, I can create a world, an atmosphere of love and joy that overflows to fill the air with life.

Bethlehem.  Angles singing to Shepherds.  A baby in a manger.  Gifts from three wise men.  Jesus Christ the Saviour of the world.

There is no reason why this shouldn’t be a merry Christmas.

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