It was liquid silica that hardened and turned into glass. So that’s why it was hard inside. I thought I did the right thing, but I was lacking.
It shouldn’t have been hard in the first place. It should have just flowed like water, or be loose like air.
My stubborn mind refused to see my wrongs. I just blamed and didn’t pluck out my flaws.
Then in church, I almost didn’t want to hear the preaching because it hit me hard. “Plans for you” the preacher said.
I knew as soon as I walked into church that I was overwhelmed, but my mind refused to let.
Then almost at the end of the preaching, I felt my insides, first like a thud, then suddenly soft like melting glass,
then flowing like water.
I don’t know how to explain it, but next thing I knew, I was remorseful, and crying and being really sorry.
Sorry that Jesus loves my friends, but I was mean.
Sorry that He wanted me to be His hands and feet to show His kindness, but I was cold.
Most of all, sorry that He was the definition of love, but I was not.
On the way back I pictured
hard glass melting into soft love.
To paint masterpiece, and great things,
but have a heart of stone, what is that?
To dream symphonies, and lovely things
but be cold inside, what is that?
Let’s learn to forgive and not let residues of resentment turn into bitterness,
Let’s learn to let go and not let precipitate harden the heart.
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.
For we know in part and we prophesy in part,
but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears.
When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me.
For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.
And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.
(I Corinthians 13:4-13)
I’m reminded again of how weighty love is compared to eternity,
and that it’s all vanity when there is no love.