Tears that crystalize and shatter.

History repeats itself but what can I do, I’m selfish like that.

Sometimes I wonder if I’ve got too cold or cruel a heart.


But then Ai sings about how


So I’m thinking no matter that I’m careless sometimes,

How about let’s leave petty where petty belongs.






Every time the cycle returns to its starting point,

I remember the cruel and cold me that was hated by everyone.

How my aunties hated me when I was little because I was a snitch.

How my cousins feared me because I was mean.

How people couldn’t get along with me because I was always in the wrong frequency.


Granted there are supervening events of 17 and 21,

That squashed and moulded you into a kinder and warmer person,

The common factor that remains is the lack of care that is enforced

Around your skin, face and the whole of you when you’re hated.


I’ll just stare at the moon while the stars drip,

Stare at the leaves as they bleed.

While the window pane cracks in pain,

Let them flush away somehow.


With the image of 十四時on a boat far away

With clear blue all around him in white and that red cap,

How he picked the green then blue fins and how he showered on the boat lol.


Dresses, and guitars, Love Story and Castle on a Hill.

Even the warm big bed in a room and the cushion chairs,

Guitars again, and games like Munchkin, Exploding Kittens

Also remember back then when we played auction?


Or just the tall buildings and remember back then either at Narita or Haneda,

At the rooftops and they looked so magical at night

When the planes came in and out.

Or when you were on the rooftops in Kathmandu and saw the flags in the skies.


In Markham after rugby or volleyball or soccer and you’re exhausted and as you’re walking back

You watch as the fiery skies burn far away, the way your insides fire up about one goal or another.


In Guangzhou when you stared at those buildings.

Even in Tokyo when you saw Fujisan.

Oi and don’t forget in Sydney when you saw the lights, as your heart melted.


Like girl why.

Stagnancy is foreign substance to your person

You’ve got forward as your only option lol.



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