Shivering in frost bites.

Empty and hollow with frail hands.

Then you wake up at 2:30 am in confusion.

Staring at the rain pouring down the window pane, as I battled insanity of isolation, I asked Jesus in Heaven and the Holy Spirit to save me.

I thank God for Moriah Peters.  The lyrics of (Oh Fear), My God is Near made me see what was going on.  Yes it was one of those unconscientious decisions you make to use an ipod to tune down the mind.

I felt the heavy skies suddenly lift.

The scenery, that for hours had been freezing had crackled and shattered.

Then lighting like cosiness of a fireplace, the air cleared.

I believe that even in your lowest times, the Holy Spirit is there. Before I slept at around 12 am, I lost my helmet, so there was this battle going on.  On top of that, I feared sleep. When I felt my head spinning, I recognized the event.  That part of me was almost leaving.  When it was about to happen, I refused to fall asleep. So I woke up and stared outside and started sobbing.

Yet I knew for a fact that below my deafening raging mind, there was this voice still and small yet thunderingly counter-arguing every dark thought of mine.

Like when my tongue said worthless, my spirit said fearfully and wonderfully made.

When it said impossible, my spirit assured great plans for you, to give you an expected end.

When my mouth said I’m alone, and isolated my spirit said not an orphan because of the Helper that is the Holy Spirit. 

The whole time despite the overpowering sadness and confusion, I kept seeing a lion roaring.

Then when I woke up at 2:30 am, I saw the lion again, so I remembered the Lion of Judah, and that was the first thing I said. Please save me, Lion of Judah.  Jesus save me.  Holy Spirit save me.

Deuteronomy 31:6 continuously replayed in my mind after that. I asked Jesus to save me from flashbacks.

 Be strong and of a good courage, fear not, nor be afraid of them: for the Lord thy God, he it is that doth go with thee; he will not fail thee, nor forsake thee.”

Later on I saw a Lamb after reading the Bible.

It’s back again to stop losing your helmet Vanessa.



Painting life with words.

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