Helpless

 

I’m okay.

Today I want to curl up into a ball of paper.

Folded, squashed and thrown into a bin.

I’m mentally and physically drained

My emotions are foils squashed and ripped apart.

My legs numb, and so do my arms.

I feel sad and helpless.

I tell you how I feel, but you always need to justify why you are not wrong.

I try to leave but my heart aches too much to leave.

I feel so helpless

I feel like even my loudest cries will fall on dead walls

I feel like my stark pain will only be seen by empty grey rooms.

I regret the day I started talking to you.

It would have mitigated the blow on my tissues

If you were willing to understand my cries

But you’re too stubborn to come down off your prideful chair.

You’d rather I was a disposable face towel, that you could use and throw around anytime.

You’re so unfair and mean

I hate you and love you and hate you so much.

I can’t stand how every woman ever,

when it comes to relationships have to be the ones to swallow their pain

Sacrificing something in return

for a successful relationship.

I’m tired, and drained

Mentally my head counts the hours I’m blessed enough to prepare for my exams

The hours I’m blessed to serve people at work and volunteer

Physically, my feet blister from walking in and out the freezer

And now the emotional drain

Dropping onto my knees

into the dirty laundry basket feeling

extremely and utterly helpless.

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Likes to write.

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