Without Dissimulation

Callous walls in the pits of the stomach

The kind that when you scrape, fall like dead skin off the soles of your feet

They build up every time conflict turns to resentment,

They then turn guile and leave a bitter taste. 

It’s the things inside you

Deceit and every ugly thing stirring within

That pour out of your mouth in the heat of the moment. 

I remember sitting across the bed

Lights through the window into the dark room on your face

You were sad and angry at the same time. 

I woke up sad because I deeply hurt you

I felt like the damage inflicted from my lips to you were irrevocable

You felt too far and distant when I touched you in the morning. 

Sunday morning felt heavy

The downpour weighed on my shoulders

Yet you said let’s go church, and became the strength we both needed. 

Pastor John spoke about ugly things inside us

Hatred, anger, malice

It was everything we were the night before. 

Only through the power of the Holy Spirit

Romans 12 became applicable to us

You held my hand halfway in between, and I felt forgiveness flow

Love swept over me

Everything I’ve had, jealousy, insecurity they all vanished amidst prayers

 God washed away everything so that love is to be without dissimulation. 

Remember how we walked to the car with the umbrella

You said we needed to hear that, and I agreed

We played Death was Arrested on the way.

 Drive in the rain felt like cleansing and blessing

Felt like a reversal transaction button

That everything before service was non-existent. 

I understand that words are like seeds

Once you plant them inside someone’s mind

It grows every time you water it with those words.  

I need to be extremely cautious of my words to loved ones

To speak life, love and blessings

And as much as possible with me, to live peaceably with everyone. 

(Romans 12: 9- 21)

Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. 10 Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves. 11 Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. 12 Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. 13 Share with the Lord’s people who are in need.Practice hospitality.
14 Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. 15 Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. 16 Live in harmony with one another.Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position.[c] Do not be conceited.
17 Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. 18 If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. 19 Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,”[d] says the Lord. 20 On the contrary:
“If your enemy is hungry, feed him;
    if he is thirsty, give him something to drink.
In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.”
21 Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.


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